Like most newly recognized and understood psychological or relational phenomena, descriptive and diagnostic data must be developed so they can be accepted in broader clinical/mental health circles. The more that is researched and written about it, the higher the probability that effective treatment and support services will be developed. Although it occupies just a few paragraphs in this manuscript, its importance and relevance to the Human Magnet Syndrome material are significant. Narcissistic Victim Syndrome and the Human Magnet Syndrome are unrelated and bear little resemblance to each other. NVS focuses on a pattern of abuse perpetrated by a narcissist onto a codependent victim. HMS, in its simplest form, explains why opposite personalities are attracted to each other, and why relationships persevere despite one or both people being unhappy. Regardless of differences, I estimate that at least 75% of people in codependent relationships with narcissists experience some form of NVS. RELATED: 9 Signs You’re A Victim Of Narcissistic Abuse (& Stuck In A Toxic Relationship) NVS is a chronic pattern of physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse perpetrated by a pathological narcissist against weak and more vulnerable individuals. Because NAS victims typically lack confidence, self-esteem, and social supports, they are prone to feeling trapped by the perpetrator. The experience of being trapped may be an accurate assessment or a result of carefully implanted “trapped narratives,” otherwise known as gaslighting. NAS victims come from all walks of life. However, the ones who either feel trapped, believe they can control or mitigate the abuse, or actually believe they deserve it are codependent or have a Self-Love Deficit Disorder.™ NAS is a chronic condition because of the Human Magnet Syndrome. HMS’s complicated psychological and relational dynamics are responsible for the formation and maintenance of the perpetrator/victim relationship, and the inability to terminate it. The NAS victims, the codependents, are either unable to or believe they are unable to end the abuse and/or the relationship because of the following:

  1. Uncertainty about the true dangerous nature of the abuser.
  2. Fear of actual consequences.
  3. Fear of threatened consequences/retaliation.
  4. Fear of social and familial rejection and isolation (siding with the abuser).
  5. Physical entrapment.
  6. Financial entrapment.
  7. Various forms of active, passive, and covert coercion and manipulation.
  8. A successful gaslighting campaign.
  9. A tendency toward codependency and a pathological fear of loneliness. As pathological narcissists, perpetrators of NVS have either a Narcissistic, Borderline, or Antisocial Personality Disorder, and/or an addiction disorder. The less empathy a perpetrator has, the more effective they are in controlling and dominating their prey. They maintain power and control over their victims by beating or wearing down their resolve to defend themselves or to reach out for protection or help. The various forms of direct, passive, and covert manipulation and aggression ensure the victim stays in the relationship, while the codependent neither fights back nor exposes them. The most potent form of NVS entrapment comes from sustained brainwashing and/or gaslighting campaigns perpetrated by a pathological narcissist who is either a sociopath (Antisocial Personality Disorder) or one with sociopathic traits. RELATED: 10 Major, Can’t-Miss-It Signs You’re Dating A Complete Sociopath

Ten Tips on Defending Against Narcissistic Victim Syndrome

1. Learn the Observe Don’t Absorb technique (ODA).

Conscious protective disassociation will keep you from fighting a losing fight.

2. Get an outside opinion.

Secrecy or privacy always works for the benefit of the abuser.

3. Prepare for blow-back.

Abusers use intimidation and threats of worse abuse when someone resists or shows signs of improved mental health.

4. Do proactive research.

Do research about shelters, police, and other support and safety services.

5. Seek professional psychotherapy help from someone who knows about NAS.

Therapists without this background may do more harm than good.

6. Learn about the power of self-love.

Self-love is the antidote to codependency.

7. Transition from self-love deficiency to self-love.

Make it your number one priority.

8. Find a support or 12 Step group.

Some suggestions include Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) and Al-Anon. RELATED: How To Leave A Narcissist This post is an excerpt from The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap. This article was originally published at Good Men Project. Reprinted with permission from the author.